Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
