Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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