are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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