..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
