Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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