he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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