it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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