just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
