I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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