my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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