you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
