i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
