Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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