dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
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Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
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In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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