That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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