your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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