I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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