mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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