I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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