Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
