Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
