A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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