oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
