What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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