She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize