I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
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Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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