It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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