I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
