if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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