he told me I talked like a deaf person
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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