is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
