he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize