She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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