how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
