his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
