i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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