oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
