theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
