i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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