too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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