He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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