As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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