I wanna passion pit in your ass
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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