Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We left an ass print on the piano.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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