counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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