so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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