I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
