The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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