I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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