I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
