He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
