she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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