i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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