She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do vagina's smell?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We had to coat check the pizza.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
