Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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